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Post by Sindder Streg on Jan 28, 2016 16:51:49 GMT
1/28/16 6:50am 30 minute meditation session Concentrated on breath. 3 major distractions. Concentration not steady. The 3rd distraction was a vision of a slick man sitting at his desk in his nice office with his foot on the desk. He turned to me and said, "The key to focus is knowing what you want". I then switched to posture concentration and thought about what is visualization. 20 minute jog  stretched legs 26 pushups |
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Post by Sindder Streg on Jan 29, 2016 20:21:52 GMT
1/29/16 6:10am 30 minute meditation
Went 15 minutes without 'complete distraction'. Distraction came from Energy Body. I'm noticing elements of potential distractions through experiences of 'partial distraction'. All in all, I'd call that an improvement. It was hard to get back into the groove after the complete distraction. I felt done, energetically. Physically I was fine. Had a vision of a humanoid frog toward the end.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Jan 30, 2016 3:46:00 GMT
1/29/16 10:25pm 15 min sit goal: no complete distractions
Not sure I avoided complete distraction. Yet I felt a piece of me was still there when I tuned back in. I had lots of great thoughts. Energetically I feel nice. I can't complain, though focus not really there tonight.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Jan 30, 2016 4:14:44 GMT
10:50 20 min sit
Calm clear mind yes is boring. But it is also calming and clearing of the mind. It's not suppose to be dancing. Now that I know what I'm trying to do, I can aim for it. It has to start with posture. Then breath. Then thoughts. Back uncomfortable during this sit. Couldn't get still.
A feature of my meditations lately seems to be 'figuring it out'. Still learning this type of meditation. I've never sat like this before. Before, it was very free form. Didn't feel like it accomplished much. Without concentration, meditation is not going to go very far. I am still working on my posture and I will keep at it for no matter how long it takes.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Jan 30, 2016 12:20:38 GMT
1/30/16 6:10am 1 hour sit
Not many memories of sit. This is "where my meditation was at". Not sure what stage this is.
My posture encourages my outer leg to fall asleep. I must be sitting on a vein. Checked the time twice. Once 25 mins had gone by and the second time I had 25 minutes left. At the end always wondering if it would go off and how much time I had left. Resolved I would have to sit there. Not too bad. Enjoyed myself. Just wish my posture was stellar. But that's what I'm working on. Baby steps. This morning was a heroically long sit. It's the weekend, might as well!
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Post by Sindder Streg on Jan 30, 2016 21:36:40 GMT
3:35pm 40 minute sit
Non-eventful. Not sure why I'm really sitting this long. Working my posture I guess. I could focus on shorter periods of time and get the experiences I'm looking for. I'd still need to work on concentration.
I will continue to work on this.
Also I think non-eventful is a good thing. Sitting around looking for experiences sounds like a recipe for not getting them. They are a result of focus, not desire. Calm mind.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Jan 31, 2016 4:51:52 GMT
11pm - 20 minute sit
Started out breaking down desire into tiny pieces in time, sensations and a story. Sensations with a mental component. I then thought about the jhanas (The states I'm practicing to learn to get into). Then I looked at "energy" and try to get to the bottom of it investigation. The remainder of time was spent noticing I had to use introspection to see if I was concentrating. I strengthened the concentration over and over but length of time is still a problem. It is very hard to concentrate on something and noticed you're concentrating on it at the same time. Maybe occasionally check ins are OK, I still should practice stability, even more so, because that's what I struggle with. I noticed a correlation between concentration and the ropes that tie my eyeballs to my brain. I could flex them with concentration. I worked the length of them and their soft-feeling spots at the base of the eye. I also investigated the ropes and connections seem to be made between them. It almost look like DNA without the twisting. I noticed two connectors. Could have been more. I ended the sit still interested in this. Still investigating. Weird there's no bottom.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Jan 31, 2016 17:45:20 GMT
1/31/16 7:30am 30 minute meditation
Four major parts. First part I was in my normal Burmese posture and I noticed and was noticing how all of my balance was focused on the weakest part of my body – my lower back. So next I switched to an Indian style, gradeschool posture, with my cushion still under my butt of course. In this posture I brought more stability to my core. I was able to hone in on the spine itself. Which brings me to the next part: strengthening of the core. I stretched forward, back, side to side. I bore down and clinched the areas around different spinal pieces. I found the culprit – the weakest link. I'm not a spinal expert so I don't know what number it was. A little research is granted. The remaining minutes, after a new strength was found, were spent focused on the breath. I watched it and made sure I was concentrating for stability as well as strength. Upon checking, I found I had a buzz of concentration strength going. I also had going, at that point, a stable concentration for this last. Of in-the-moment concentration.
Two terms, for clarity: concentration strength and concentration stability. If concentration was a flashlight, stability would be keeping it on the same spot. Strength would be the brightness.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Feb 1, 2016 15:07:46 GMT
2/1/16 10 minute sit
10 minute concentration. Starting to understand this practice more, which makes my practice more effective. Keep at it.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Feb 1, 2016 19:11:11 GMT
11:55am 15 minute meditation
Sat in the bathroom at work, sieza, for 15 minutes. Had my timer set for 5 but didn't hear it go off. A client came in and left and all that. Ha! Oops. On the the actual sit. I defined my goal as maintain access concentration for 5 minutes. Hastily at the last minute added 'focusing on the breath'. This turned out to be an interesting and informative choice. Well, first I noticed the sensations of my body to be complete chaos so I refined my attention to the top of the nose. I should say, before I sat I figured out how to turn my mind on into altered states of consciousness (ASC) by the method of as I do for jhana. (I can get into them but my concentration isn't strong so I can't yet make the states strong.) The top of the nose wasn't refined enough so I switched to ASC . This felt better. I stayed there for a while but remembered my goal and knew I had to sink back down into the body. Immediately I felt the pain in my back. (Interesting to bypass this in ASC.) I singled in on the spine piece and worked it until it popped. Instant relief. I then worked myself comfortable and switched to the breath. I noticed the struggle my breath was under, under the weight of my stomach. I positioned my hands as to brace my stomach and I then could breath with more comfort. I stayed with the breath and controlled my breathing, breathing in larger breaths for a few minutes. Then I let the breath be natural, moving my hands to my thighs. Soon I wondered about the time...
Three major points I learned:
1. Lose weight and strengthen back through exercise
2. Practice, starting with 15 minutes, breathing meditations. (Controlling and watching breath, not over-breathing and not losing focus.
3. Do magick and ASC's separately from points 1 and 2.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Feb 2, 2016 3:14:52 GMT
8:55pm 15 Minute Breath Concentration Meditation
Feel good going into it. Going to use my mind to keep my body still and breath easy. Balanced, just like I learned this afternoon.
Focus was average. Mind would come up with inspirational schemes rather than focus. Back sturdy. Could feel the muscles constricted.
9:35pm 15 Minute Breath Concentration Meditation
I'm seriously going to focus on the breath.
Interesting correlation between breath concentration and breath control. Does breath control thought or does thought control breath? Both my thought and breath agree I'm going to be fucked until I strengthen my back. The practice was weak because it's not that simple as watch the breath. Watching closely my thoughts are correlated to the breath. It's like singing. So I can't JUST watch the breath- because my thinking is directly tied up IN the breath. It's fucking weird. PS- Switched to sieza halfway through. My breath rebelled (against Burmese). I'm okay with that. PSS- Breath Concentration Meditation is certainly interesting. PPSS- The practice was strong if it was interesting!
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Post by Sindder Streg on Feb 2, 2016 10:50:42 GMT
4:45am 45 minute Breath Concentration Meditation
Achieved a modicum of attentional stability amongst postural issues and being lost in daydreams/half sleep. Attentional strength was not entirely present, though I did feel present. I believe I have come to settle on the most comfortable posture for me right now- Indian style on a cushion. My back feels like it's in sieza and my legs feel like they're in Burmese. It's a balance of both worlds.
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Post by Admin on Feb 2, 2016 18:12:40 GMT
2.2.16 12:45 15 min mindfulness meditation
worthwhile images:
skin/muscuiar system as one organ/thing;
automaticity of forehead tension as well as other muscle groups;
interacting with thoughts as though they were water in a stream (racing thoughts=rushing stream, peaceful/soothing; steady thoughts=smoothly flowing water, slowly hypnotic, steady and firm; close to empty mind/total focus=still water, deep water, stillness, connection);
treating awareness of consciousness as a thing that I have; a tool; an object at my disposal; something I can use when i want; more difficult somedays to use (like more difficult to drive when it's snowing or to swim in ocean when it is windy), but always available
started with posture (sitting up in a chair - I think I have found this is my favorite), then breath, then body (muscle/bone) scan to ground (i.e. calm) myself. ended by seeing the skin and then even all my muscular system as one organ/thing. this was very helpful to maintain stillness.
then I got to what I was excited about. tried visualizing thought flow and awareness of consciousness. then back to breath. then timer.
would love to describe more, but have to go get my class from related arts!
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Post by Admin on Feb 2, 2016 18:17:13 GMT
Also, I was fully aware of how little time I had to do the sit and post about it, but I was still able to drop into it, be absorbed in it, be patient and present, and observe it with openness and objectivity
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Post by Sindder Streg on Feb 3, 2016 15:13:56 GMT
That's great when you can drop into it like that. Were there distractions around you?
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