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Post by Admin on Mar 9, 2016 3:45:21 GMT
2:30 10 min sit
5 senses, interoception, mentalization, awareness of awareness, mindful breathing
turned the whole day into an ease
most notable "event" was the dwelling on the realization that I could point out to myself as sort of a mantra "I (mind) see my mind" and "THAT (pointing) is my mind". powerful objectifying experience being me and not me ("I am as I am not" - Heraclitus)
Also tried short sky meditations a couple of times today: stared into the sky for a few minutes at a time focusing on allowing myself to feel both totally absorbing and totally absorbed by the enormity and fullness of the sky; led toward a state of something like cosmic consciousness (in the way I use the term - mindful awareness of my body and mind's relationship with the cosmos and unity of reality (matter/energy/density/different manifestations of the same consciousness?); not profoundly shocking, but working toward maintaining the state like a habit of routinely perspectivizing mental experience
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Post by Sindder Streg on Mar 10, 2016 22:26:12 GMT
12:15pm 35 minute meditation
Guided meditation through 'being' the jhanas and then exploring the unsatisfactoriness of each, moving to the next.
Very interesting session. Other than sharing my notes of what I experienced in each, I'll just say that I enjoyed the experience. It left me feeling vaguely satisfied. Satisfied with experience in general. Dispassion is a valuable trait, tempered with doing your will anyway.
I got into some jhanas more than others and notes were taken about ones I may could benefit from or ones I liked too much. I even intuitively took to the exercise and advanced to the 2nd jhana without reading the instructions that I was suppose to become dissatisfied before I moved on. I received a bit of 'other worldly' assistance through some visions to let me know I was in second and increased my confidence that I was doing it right. I was surprised I was in 2nd Jhana because I didn't really feel the first, I thought I totally missed it, though I did feel it flash. It's also very interesting to note that 1st Jhana gets rid of the 5 hindrances: ill will, sloth, doubt, restlessness, and worry. They really do. The capacity for those things is gone while you're in jhana.
I will add some notes here as I have time. This is what I wrote down as I was doing it.
From my guide: " For this practice to work, one must accept that there is still the illusion of "being" arising and use it as a means to end suffering."
I already mentioned the 2nd Jhana stuff
4th Jhana: Equanimity could be very bad for me with behaviors linked to substance history
6th Jhana: I am perceiving. I really liked this one.
7th Jhana: Equanimity heavy. I should like it more to get more out of it. Didn't feel self or didn't want to due to equanimity, didn't care.
8th: Getting tired. More classically equanimous. Posture better. Felt self on again off again.
I'm quite excited I got into these states as well as I did. I had some confusion about them before because I thought I'd be or have to be very absorbed into them, and they'd be fireworky, but they were more subtle than that.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Mar 11, 2016 19:10:12 GMT
12pm 20 minute sit Was looking for the center of my mind. Very energetic. Bioenergy, chi, or whatever. Messed with that a lot. Good stuff happening during sit.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Mar 12, 2016 19:45:33 GMT
1:30pm 10 minute sit 5 minutes with Jack and 5 more alone. Very serene-6J. Very grateful these states exist and grateful and proud to sit with Jack-proud to be a positive influence.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Mar 14, 2016 15:17:31 GMT
10 min sit last night. Chill. Not concentrated, didn't care - interesting to know I can see how it works though. I was in a slight recline position. Planned on sitting 20 mins but I went to bed.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Mar 16, 2016 14:04:45 GMT
5 minute sit Mysticism is transcending the ego. The ego is the bundle of nerves you call you. The Goddess is the space in which the ego arises.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Mar 26, 2016 1:03:52 GMT
10 min lying meditation No sleeping lol. 7:45am
Written exercise
5 min sitting meditation after lunch
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Post by Admin on Apr 8, 2016 19:10:31 GMT
I've been pretty good this week about getting at least one 20-30 min meditation in a day. Mostly focused on the image of the ocean of thought (waves on surface, visualizing myself as a particle of water or atomic/subatomic particle that drifts down to the still-dynamic, silent-communicative body of water (Mind, Spirit, etc) watching the waves of thought on the surface rip and roar. Staying here; being it (the body and surface of water); departing from self to return to self with a sort of illumination or spherical perspective - a perspective enhanced by seeing that body of water as a 4-dimensional sphere with a pure center and completely circumscribed by the surface waves of thought. The point of center ended up over a few days appearing as a singular point of oscillating infinite brightness with a darkness that was the thickness and purity of space-time falling in on itself. This was an image I could return back to (in addition to the spherical ocean of being/possibility and a 4-D version of Dan seigel's wheel of awareness) to enhance the sense of attachment-nonattachment-return to self process.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Apr 8, 2016 22:04:58 GMT
Sounds like meditation is going pretty well. I tend to sit well, when I'm not blindingly drunk that is. Working on that too. But I e been particularly proud of myself this week because my sits haven't been so dogmatic. "I have to sit this way because this is what I believe or want to believe". I sat 3 or 4 different ways this week. Zen, or open awareness style, or stopping is what I also call it, concentration, I did a mantra meditation too. I've learned a lot from this and I think I'm progressing. My magical practice has also improved and I'm really trying to learn and be humble and embody life as a magician. It's hard because because I don't really know *what* to do but I take guidance from my results and from experiences and try to be open with myself.
*what* - as is where to apply.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Apr 9, 2016 12:08:39 GMT
Actually i think I know where to apply...
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Post by Admin on Apr 12, 2016 15:02:53 GMT
I've not been motivated lately to record much about my sessions, but one thing of note has been the following prayer/mantra/phrase that helps me "snap" into a mindful state (even when not meditating proper ie sitting):
I am not these perceptions. I am not these drives. I am not these sensations. I am not these mental images and intuitions. I am not these emotions. I am not these thoughts. I am within God. God is within me.
As I return back to my "self" after uttering this, I can feel a shift to a less meditative state while maintaining a higher degree of non-attachment/objectivity.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Jun 1, 2016 20:03:59 GMT
I've been sitting most days 20-30 minutes with some actually very productive and meaningful sits in areas of mindfulness and in concentration. My bread-and-butter though is still 'just sitting' Zen style. This style sort of combines both mindfulness and concentration without exclusively engaging those areas. It really is about the act of just sitting. It takes a bit of concentration and insight to see through thoughts and body movements to be able to just sit and not nod off or be whirling in thought. My engagement with this style of meditation has been one of those on again off again relationships where eventually both parties figure out the other has always been the one for them! Know what I mean?!
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Post by Sindder Streg on Jun 7, 2016 18:28:38 GMT
Postmodernism as a series of maps. In this view, using the meditate.io's 5 styles of meditation, which I really like the whole idea of (inquiry, heartfulness, mindfulness, awareness, & concentration - distilled from various traditions worldwide [which I !really! like the idea of - a meta-paradigm would you call it? - ; in fact, it's something I have based my magical views of the abilities/'hidden', ie occult, uses of consciousness on - I should probably say more on this sometime]) I mostly practice Awareness style. Which is what I've been calling Zen. I do have some wild successes with concentration as well (as far as states go but my concentration is still probably mediocre at best). I concentrate when I read, and I should pay more attention to the concentration aspects and at work too, note to self. I'd like to try some formal mindfulness, which they describe as 'noticing what you notice when you notice it' and as 'empowerment'. This style is the style I've most associated with awakening/enlightenment (off the mat is how I've practiced it, mind you, fwiw) and have called it insight meditation in the past and have also called it 'breaking down experience' when talking with you. In practice I don't think it goes like that so much, but that's sort of a bird's eye view of what goes on and how it works. Ie, "I'm not what I thought I was". Like I said, I need to explore this more on the mat. I've done one formal heartfulness session, on myself, probably a month or so ago. I'd equate inquiry with divination (tarot, I Ching, etc). I don't do this a lot but am fairly skilled at it. Divination, that is. "Gaze into the crystal ball". Self inquiry is the form I'm most familiar with, but haven't seriously done much with it as it didn't really interest me and I thought I already knew the answer/experience it was suppose to produce. An assumption on my part perhaps. Still, not that interested. Self inquiry is mainly a hindu method, from what I gather. A la Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta. Moving on. Or, rather retracing steps. On to something I've very interested in and based much of, if not all, of my practice on. So this is a biggie for me. And probably deserves to be addressed in person as it is such a heavy belief of mine. A selection from Aleister Crowley's 'Book 4 - Mysticism'. I recommend reading the entire introduction up to and perhaps including, if you wish, the yoga parts. By genius, in this, he means or I take him now to mean, basically, awakening or enlightenment. Book 4 - Mysticism <-- whole document, selection below: Frater Perdurabo is Crowley. His method was the 8 limbs of yoga. He was one of the first English people to 'bring yoga to the West'. 8 Lectures on YogaBut what he is referring to is to replicate the spiritual outcomes of spiritual geniuses in a scientific manner. 'The method of science the aim of religion' being a motto of his magical organization. Very interesting and how that relates to Transpersonal states of consciousness.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Jun 15, 2016 18:23:03 GMT
3 stages of Union with a god, & enlightenment
1st Stage – a man and his dog
This stage is marked by a complete separation of oneself and the god. One could be praying, saying a
poem, invoking, thinking about them, or thanking them, but you are completely separate beings.
2nd Stage – invocatory hymns
This stage is marked by the experience of the qualities of the being you are trying to invoke. It could be
light, kindness, selflessness. The qualities should match the being you invoked, and you should start to
feel them and experience them directly. Feelings of the presence of the deity, immensity, and
otherness occur here as well as the possibility fear or trepidation; the repentance of sins. Also, a
welcomed departure from one’s own experience of oneself can be felt; a feeling of salvation and
appreciation can be felt. Prayers answered and a renewed faith in the deity felt.
3rd Stage – we’ll have to clean that up with a mop
This stage is marked by nonduality. Light may be experienced and emptiness of all things noticed.
Boundless compassion, wisdom, signs, and insights into the workings of the universe or other systems
or events may occur. Conversely, loss of sense of self, reality, and attachments can occur and be quite
startling. Here it’s not so much about you or the deity but about the nature of reality. This stage is
enlightenment.
Conclusion – 4 path model
If this is your first time in 3rd stage, congratulations, you’ve probably reached 1st path. If you continue
to supplicate the god to get to 3rd stage, and do so repeatedly, then you’re probably 2nd path. If you
start to see that samadhi has something more to do than with you or the god and you continue to
investigate the nature of reality, then you’re probably 3rd path. If you can peruse the qualities of reality
at will, you’re probably 4th path and fully enlightened.
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