Love

At first, I got out my notes and thought of what books I could refer to to get all this "right", but (forgive me) I decided to take the easy and more fun route of just spitting what I remember. So, feel free to correct me.

neuroplasticity: the trait-capacity of the brain to promote physical brain changes based on experience; the concept that as "neurons fire together, they wire together"; basically, we can change the brain physically and functionally through the directed focus attention of the mind; it's what makes meditation and other such activities progressive for the individual

Neurons are brain cells that are housed in the skull, but cradle the whole body with the cells' "tails" called axons and other, more extensive nerve endings that communicate directly with those neurons through the spine as mental activity occurs, individual neurons and their connections between each other are changed. Neurons are changed through the heightened conduction of the axons - when a neuron sends an electrical pulse (called "action potential"), the charged ion carrying the "spark" is sent down the axon which will be the up-stream side of a synaptic cleft (the small open space by which neurons communicate by releasing neurotransmitters upstream and receiving/translating neurotransmitters downstream). As that axon is used to send a charge, other brain cells called glia add a protein called myelin to the outside of the axon creating a super-conductive sheath (a process called myelinogenisis). This means that the more we use a certain neuron, it becomes up to 2000 times faster at sending signals - signals that are basically on-off/excitory-inhibitory signals - by being a "smoother" conduction route for the action potential and also lowering refractory time (the time it takes before another action potential can occur). That's a LOT faster, so it makes repetitive usage of neurons lead to increased effectiveness of those neurons which makes them more likely to be used. As these neurons connect in a vastly complicated spider-web of synaptic connections that, when repetitively grouped together are called neural net profiles - the functional whole that is created by a pattern of neuronal connections (there are over 100 billion neurons and glial cells in the skull and each neuron can have about 10,000 connections to other neurons; due to the fact that synaptic interactions are constantly changing in response to moment to moment experience, the possible on-off firing patterns of the brain at any given moment are astronomical... predicted to be 10 to the millionth power... more possible combinations than atoms in the universe!).... that was my geek-out.

On the topics of negative thought/feeling cycles and unconditional love/open acceptance...
When we rest (not necessarily in meditation, but just sitting not doing anything, but not "doing nothing" if you see what I mean), it has been shown that our brains are always scanning for interaction possibilities with others - its called the brain's default mode. Through meditation and other mindfulness activities, that default mode can be changed to exhibit less anxiety-based activity, essentially increasing open acceptance. The real trouble can be that the body proper constantly provides information too, and it matters to the brain. If something happens in the body the brain automatically responds through the sympathetic and para-sympathetic y systems (systems that run unconsciously, but systems that can be affected through focused attention). In fact, the anterior cingulate cortex is an area in the brain that registers not only bodily pain but... are you ready?... social rejection! These two forms of discomfort/suffering are literally woven together because they activate the same brain matter (this is why we get our feelings "hurt"). Observing the body in an open and objective way increases our capacity to tame those feelings of social hurt as well as other emotions. Likewise, many portions of the brain that are instrumental in showing compassion to others are identical to those associated with self-compassion. When the rubber hits the road, it's dangerous to confuse self-compassion with narcissism, but activities like peace and compassion prayers for others actually heightens our own self-compassion abilities over time. And what a great way to do it... having our cake, eating it, and sharing it too! Talks and fMFR studies with the dalai lama and his disciples have shown a decrease in brain activity during default mode processing in monks who make meditation a big part of their day (several hours a day), but it has been shown (Dr. Lazar in Boston i think...) that all it really takes to CHANGE THE PHYSICAL STRUCTURE AND THEREFORE THE FUNCTIONAL STRUCTURE OF THE BRAIN is approx. 12-15 min/day minimum of mindfulness meditation (including breathing concentration, body scans, thought watching, etc). Is that nuts to anyone else but me!? That's all brain stuff though; the mind is different - being like the user of the instrument which is the brain (I know I am still in the realm of psychology and there is likely infinitely more to it than that, but I do like to view psychology as a house without a roof... we're not done building!). Through monitoring and modifying the processes of the brain, one can literally change the auto-pilot responses we all dread dealing with into what we actually want; taking advantage of the auto-pilot mechanisms of being us rather than hiding from them like they are some unconquerable dragon. This is how we use our mind to act out love/compassion prayers for self and others in addition to other mindfulness exercises in order to: change our physical brains to a "better stage on which to perform", make us feel good, encourage us to do it more, make thinking of others and our selves in an openly loving and compassionate way second nature (auto-pilot). Admittedly, there are innumerable other ways to foster loving compassion, but that's one.

On negative thought/feeling cycles.
You hit the nail on the head in the Meditation post when you outlined the reciprocal/circular cycle of negative thoughts (nagging self-talk, doubt, maybe feeling destroyed when expectations are not fulfilled, turning negative cognitions out toward others) lead to negative feelings (self-loathing, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, self-hate projected out onto others). I would only add that EVERYONE works that way. Evolutionarily speaking, we have a negative instinct - an instinct to notice bad stuff over good. If I'm an ancient human, it is much more important for me to notice a bear (1 negative) than it is to notice a carrot in the ground (1 positive thing). There have been studies in marriages for instance that show that it takes at least 5 genuine compliments to off-set a contemptuous insult between members of a couple... We remember bad stuff easier because it has historically been helpful (enter self-compassion & exit shame: the negative instinct is a protective one, not a punishing one). When this type of cycle is coupled with compulsory or addictive behaviors, the dopamine system makes things double hard. Dopamine is one of our main focus neurotransmitters, it is heavily involved in goal-oriented drives and in reward-expectant motivations. Dopamine equips us with a super-powerful motivational force. Like the negative instinct, it is not bad. It can be amazing [like the sight of a vast ocean] when the goal is aimed toward something constructive that we value and that doesn't cause us or others pain or send us closer to harm(ing). It can also be ruinous [like a tempest crashing over our heads as we kick and thrash trying to stay alive]. An important aspect of dopamine is this: over-stimulation leads to depletion. Thus the phenomenon that people who feel addiction (drug, alcohol, sex, porn, gambling, etc) at some point eventually like "it's just not enough anymore". This is doubled with drugs and alcohol because one builds a physical tolerance as well as a mental tolerance. When this is coupled with the drag-myself-through-the-mud cycle of negative thoughts/feelings, the odds are really stacked, so congratulate yourself that you have reached this point of realization! I have more personal things to say about compulsion/addiction in myself and my family, but that's for an off-line conversation.

I still have distinct trouble with thought-stopping and feeling-soothing to help myself show myself more compassion. I am sort of a baby when it comes to being non-judgemental in the sense that when my prior expectations are not met, I am often sent into a mental down-ward spiral leading to rifts with others and sink holes of emotion from which it takes me a long time to recover to an emotional baseline (another sign that I need to continue mindfulness work for daily functioning). I think certain compulsions in my life have also been transferred to not-quite-so-damaging things such as over-eating, laziness, junk attitudes, etc. Drinking too, but while I think i have the misfortune of a proclivity to over-drink, I have the natural safely net of being a light-weight (i just get sick or fall asleep). I am hoping that mindfulness, meditation, prayer, contemplation, etc will be a way to focus those energies toward Eros (consumption, lust, drunkenness) in a way that integrates that Eros with Logos to develop a personality ready to handle true self- and God-exploration.

Dan Siegel is where i get most of my stuff and he has an enormous reference list in each of his books. I also search google scholar for specific topics ("anterior cingulate cortex and social rejection" or "neural correlates of mindfulness" for example) to see more recent stuff. Dr. Lazar for meditation and neuroplasticity; richard davidson for meditation and compassion i think (he's a practicing buddhist or at least a meditator himself) all the stuff on neurons etc is sort of basic neuroscience and could be found on any decent neuro-info site. I also think I have been steeped in some of it through the therapy program. Honestly though, I would just browse good scholar for pdfs from academic journals on specific topics - even just reading the abstracts which summarizes the article is illuminating sometimes. There is a guy who uses Interpersonal Neurobiology specifically with addiction, but I can't remember his name. Heard him a lot on lectures on youtube. Probably could just search "Interpersonal Neurobiology and addiction".

Just going to post this instruction on cultivating the Brahma Viharas. Brahma Vihara means Divine Abode. What I like about these is you don't have to believe in a Higher Power to be a better person, which is a common objection to atheism. These come from Daniel Ingram, actually from a post on Magick.



For those not familiar with the Brahma Viharas, they are:


1-Loving-Kindness (Metta): the natural well-wishing for one's self and all beings.

2-Compassion (Karuna): the natural wishing that the suffering of one's self and all beings will cease.

3-Sympathetic Joy (Mudita): the natural appreciation of the successes, good fortunes and joys of ourselves and all beings.

4-Equanimity (Upekkha): the feeling of peace that comes from realizing that all beings are the true heirs of their karma and that their well-being depends on their actions, and not on
   our wishes for them.



Thus, it is worth knowing how to practice the Brahma Viharas.


1-Pick one of the Brahma Viharas, specifically:

   1-Loving-Kindness

   2-Compassion

   3-Sympathetic Joy

   4-Equanimity


2-If practicing formally, seat one's self in a comfortable posture, if not, practice in whatever posture one finds oneself in.
 Reflect on the dangers of the quality of mind that the
   Brahma Vihara chosen most directly counters:


   1-Loving-kindness directly counters hatred. Reflect on the dangers in harboring hatred.

   2-Compassion directly counters cruelty. Reflect on the dangers of harboring feelings of cruelty.

   3-Sympathetic Joy directly counters envy. Reflect on the dangers of harboring envy.

   4-Equanimity directly counters both greed and hatred. Reflect on the dangers of greed and hatred.


3-Each of the Brahma Viharas are associated with a specific phrase that is used to cultivate the feeling until the feeling of the Brahma Vihara can itself be taken as object, and so the
   next step is to learn the phrases for that Brahma Vihara. The phrases may be modified to suit your tastes, and appear in various forms in various places. Each phrase is used to
   extend the quality of the Brahma Vihara to various categories of beings, so a blank is included in the phrase that one fills in with the appropriate category as one progresses
   through them. Here I render them as:


   1-For Loving-Kindness: May _____ be happy. May ____ be peaceful. May _____ be safe. May _____ live with ease.

   2-For Compassion: May _____ be free from suffering. May their suffering finally cease.

   3-For Sympathetic Joy: May the happiness and good fortune of _____ always increase.

   4-For Equanimity: ____ is/are the true heirs of their karma. ____'s happiness depends upon their actions and not upon my wishes for them.


4-The phrases in the short form of the practice are extended towards various beings and classes of beings in this traditional order:


   1-To one's self first (with the exception of Equanimity, for which this first one is somewhat philosophically problematic), e.g. May I be happy, etc.

   2-To a friend (try to avoid those for whom one feels sexual attraction, as that tends to distract the practice, though if one gets better at this one might try to sort those two out
      later on)

   3-To a neutral person

   4-To a person whom one bears ill-will (traditionally called the "enemy" or "worthy opponent")

   5-To all beings everywhere


5-When working with the categories in this way, it is traditional to stick to the easy categories first, developing them until the feeling is strong, and then shifting when one feels
   confident to the harder categories.

6-One may also extend the feelings in various directions:


   1-In front

   2-In back

   3-To the sides

   4-Above

   5-Below

   6-And all around pervading everything everywhere


7-As one repeats the phrases, one tries to connect to the fundamental feeling implied in the words.


8-One must guard against both the far enemies (those things listed above that they directly counter), and also the Near Enemies, which are those near approximations of the Brahma
   Viharas that are yet not the genuine quality, but impostors. These are:


   1-For Loving-Kindness, the near enemy is desire.

   2-For Compassion, the near enemy is pity.

   3-For Sympathetic Joy, the near enemy is also desire.

   4-For Equanimity, the near enemy is indifference.


9-As the feeling of the Brahma Vihara grows, one turns that feeling into a samatha object, such that one takes that feeling and develops it directly, working with it, expanding it,
   gently coaxing it through any blockages or sticking points one finds, extending it through the body until it pervades the whole body, and finally takes the feeling far out into space.


10-As barriers or distractions or issues arise during the practice, we soften, connect with the deep and fundamental wish implied by the Brahma Vihara we have chosen, and slowly
     extend that Brahma Vihara through that barrier to pervade everything.

Can you define karma for me? I'd like to see if I can try to explain it to you without Deity. If Deity yields to Design we could admit that things could be the way they are without a Being doing it. My investigations have led me to lean toward this belief. 'Ziran' in Chinese means 'spontaneity'. To me this is a much more beautiful view on things. Pleasing a Parent in the clouds not only is a medieval view but it bitterly suits my tastes.

That's a much too complicated view to make any sense. Karma means action. Action isn't stored anywhere. It's acts and is done.

This thing. This big ball called life is always like this. Just like this right now. Free of thought. You think. Think doesn't 'you'. You've been here before. Stepping off the ride is seeing that you are everywhere and all things. It has nothing to do with the mind.

Thanks for saying I have faith!