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Post by Admin on Feb 17, 2016 19:52:26 GMT
I read recently a comparison of two efforts of mindful awareness (or any other type of) meditation:
1. learning new skills
2. un-learning old, hindering skills (I think of it as 'un-remembering' for forthcoming reasons)
not sure how I feel yet about it, because I definitely feel like I've had to learn and practice a lot of new skills...
future post: recognizing implicit memories (or the shadows that implicit memories cast on our current experience)
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Post by Admin on Feb 25, 2016 18:48:48 GMT
Latest encounter with implicit memory guiding my behaviors, thoughts, and emotions - and in general, coloring my perceptions, meaning attributions and anticipations of life - occurred this morning. We get up early... I have to get Perry up between 5:15-5:45 to get her in the bath (we typically get home too late to have a bath time and get her in bed before 8:30/9). She does pretty well most of the time; I think it helps wake her up. But she can also be really challenging. The challenge for me comes with the noises she can create and the volume she can belt them out. My body and mind react totally automatically with INTENSE feelings, thoughts, sensations and guides what I expect from myself, my day, and others around me. It can turn easily into "life sucks right now; it's always like this... why does she do this; am i doing something wrong to lead to her reacting this way? I feel like she seems to feel sometimes - are her reactions because of her father's self-regulation deficiency?"
You see how that could start the day rolling in a certain negative direction with momentum...
I can see it happen nowadays which is good. I think I used to live without any awareness of it at all. But it still feels like a heaviness is crushing me (not Perry, but my reactions to events like that one with Perry in the morning).
My implicit memory, which has an enormous shaping influence on behaviors, emotions, perceptions and somatosensory experiences, is a miraculous type of memory, but it can also be a bitch. It takes no focused attention for an implicit memory to be encoded; supposedly, we have implicit memories from the womb. The "recalling" of an implicit memory lacks the sensation that one is recalling a memory - called ecphoric sensation; ecphory being the process of the mind matching a memory retrieval cue with a mental representation from the past - so with implicit memory, one doesn't even know that something is being recalled from the past at all; it feels new and spontaneous unless we start to recognize patterns. Also, most impactful for me, implicit memory "primes" certain mental models (schemas) and physical processes often but not always correlating to the autonomic nervous system (sympathetic/parasympathetic nervous system - e.g. increased heart rate/decreased metabolism). The way this looks in me usually has to do with: a tightness in the stomach, jaw, brow, upper back/shoulders; quickened, shallow breathing; increased heart rate; racing negative/contemptuous thoughts; urge/muscular contraction to bend into the fetal position; desire to be isolated and silent; pursed lips; and I also have a lower but developing flexibility of response (long period of time it takes my body to "deflate" back to a baseline calm state) - it has gotten much better as I have been working on it the last few months especially. A high response flexibility is correlated with a high level of naturally mindful traits - I have NOT historically shown this trait.
I am now at the point when dealing with very stressful situations where I am much more aware of what is happening when it is happening (monitoring), but I still struggle with putting enough space between a stimulus and my impulse to react (modifying).
Work in progress...
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Post by Admin on Feb 25, 2016 18:50:16 GMT
so...
"unremembering" those implicit memories of reactivity (essentially fight/flight/freeze/faint) is definitely my goal. to live unattached to those habits.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Feb 26, 2016 15:37:52 GMT
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Post by EnDiscouraged on Feb 26, 2016 17:27:19 GMT
...
Ideal progress: ever-gradual ascending in ability level/aptitude; always up up up - just be patient
Less-than-optimal (and more often experienced) progress: better! (Set back), better! (Set back), better! (Set back), etc... the gradual nature of the improvement only comes when the set backs are retrospectively given meaning/put in their place as pieces of the larger picture of improvement - just be patient and remember that "improving" sometimes feels like "getting worse"
3rd option (unhealthy): the condition is worsening, but one is unaware until new bad habits are developed.... pessimism
This is the same issue as I posed in the "non-duality and ignorance" thread. Namely, it is curious that humanity naturally leans toward - and gradually builds Hinderances to - something like "improvement", "betterment", "progress", (dare I say) "the Good".
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Post by Wait, wait on Feb 26, 2016 17:35:52 GMT
I should say, humanity desires something like "the Good" whereas the mind is soooo much better at remembering "the bad" (little 'b').
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Post by Sindder Streg on Feb 26, 2016 17:38:27 GMT
Not sure what I have to say on that right now. Seems a bleak proposition. I tend to think humanity is good so it's natural for me to find a way around that. Perhaps I'll say, it's natural for humans to 'want'. When we sit, 'want' is put on high- observed. We must have some notion that 'I am other' than want or we for sure will be doomed-- the perverted hero. A concept I am unfortunately quite comfortable with. One that I've described as being out of touch with my external circumstances. The idea that it's somehow noble to desecrate the seeming 'good' around me. Crazy wisdom? |
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Post by Sindder Streg on Feb 27, 2016 16:18:30 GMT
2: Filtration- The ability to screen between viewpoints. When we 'do nothing' the abilities of the mind to pick up these things is noticed and enhanced. Through the meta-viewpoint of doing nothing-wu wei- our mind sees any skhanda as it is: a portion of but not the entirety of life itself. How do we put a name on the present moment?
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Me Ruv me Rong tine
Guest
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Post by Me Ruv me Rong tine on Feb 28, 2016 15:54:47 GMT
Self-love and compassion by growing the brain through purposefully (implicitly) remembering positive experiences:
HEAL model of allowing positive experiences to change the brain
First three steps like a fire:
1. Have a pos experience - light the fire or notice a flame
2. Enrichment - protect the fire from the elements or the "inner nay-sayers" (implicit memory encoding and storage super-charged by the following elements: duration, intensity, multi modality, novelty, personal relevance)
3. Absorption - take in the warmth of the fire
4. Link pos and previously learned/remembered neg experiences
Negative bias of the brain:
Carrot and Stick survival memory
If we miss the carrot (positive experience), we will have another chance to find something to eat tomorrow.
If we miss the stick (negative experience; eg stick swinging at our head or a bear charging at us), we may never have another chance.
Thus, the brain has a massive negative bias in the way it implicitly encodes behavioral, schema, somatosensory and emotional memory (remembering that implicit memory doesn't "feel" like a memory; i.e. We don't know it comes from the past); we have to try harder to remember the carrots.
Supportive evidence in marital studies by John gottman showing that for every 1 negative marital interaction, another 5 positive interactions are needed to counteract the negative effect on the receiving spouse.
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Post by Sindder Streg on Feb 29, 2016 17:33:52 GMT
HEAL is another Siegelism I'm assuming. What book are these from? Absolutely incredible! You pointing out "it doesn't feel like a memory" is super helpful!!!
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Post by Admin on Feb 29, 2016 18:41:39 GMT
The book i would most recommend to start with is definitely Mindsight (I may be biased because it blew my face off when I read it - I have almost re-read it since I read it for one of my last classes); then, if you want a good reference guide, get The Pocket Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology (I think that's the title).
HEAL is actually from Rick Hanson. Another mental health professional (psychologist?) and also a practicing Buddhist. YouTube Barre Center for Buddhist Studies (I think) - playlist: neuro-bhavana.
Hanson's Web site.... OMG. It's like a treasure trove of helpful info, links, and exercises. Just looked at it for the first time yesterday, but it was impressive. I'm starting the Autogenic practice that takes a couple of months... Not a lot of faith that I will stick with it, but you know... You might like that one; it is similar to self-hypnosis with the ultimate aim of calming the body on a conditioned, self-prompted command.
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Post by Admin on Mar 1, 2016 2:45:54 GMT
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Post by Admin on Mar 1, 2016 2:59:58 GMT
your boy leary is mentioned on that site under "other practices"
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Post by Sindder Streg on Mar 1, 2016 16:25:41 GMT
Holy Hand Grenade, there are straight up magick practices listed! This site is awesome!
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Post by Uuuuuuh on Mar 1, 2016 17:11:34 GMT
Have we been describing the same exercises and calling them different things? Magick and mindfulness practices?
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